subs. (old literary: now vulgar).—1. A lump of excrement; and (2) a contemptuous address: cf. SHIT. Frequently in combination: e.g., NOT WORTH A TURD = the maximum of worthlessness; ‘A TURD FOR YOU!’ = ‘Go to hell and stay there’ (also A TURD IN THE MOUTH!); TO CHUCK A TURD = to evacuate, to rear; and so forth. Also PROVERBS AND PROVERBIAL SAYINGS, ‘Many women many words, many geese many TURDS’; ‘He’s fallen into a cow’s TURD’ (of a dirty unkempt man); ‘He looks like a COW-TURD stuck with primroses’; ‘There’s not a TURD to choose, quoth the good wife, by her two pounds of butter’; ‘There’s ’struction of honey, quoth Dunkinly, when he lick’d up the hen-TURD’; ‘A TURD’S as good for a sow as a pancake’ (i.e., ‘Good things are not fit for fools’: cf. French Truie aime mieux bran que roses, Sp. No es la miel para la boca del asno); ‘He that thatches his house with TURDS shall have more teachers than reachers’; ‘He is all honey, or all TURD’; ‘See how we apples swim, quoth the horse-TURD’; ‘As rotten as a TURD’; ‘A humble-bee (or a beetle) in a cow-TURD thinks himself a king’; ‘Look high and fall into a cow-TURD.’
1380. WYCLIF, Bible, Luke xiii, 6. And he answeringe seide to him, Lord, suffre also this ȝeer: til the while I delue aboute it, and sende TOORDIS [Authorised Version, till I digge rounde aboute it, and donge it].
d. 1529. SKELTON, The Bowge of Courte [CHALMERS, ii. 253. 1]. Fye on this dyce they be NOT WORTH A TURDE.
1567. HARMAN, A Caveat or Warening for Common Cursetors, 86. Gerry gan, the ruffian clye thee. A TORDE IN THY MOUTH, the deuyll take thee.
1575. STILL, Gammer Gurton’s Needle, i. 5. Not so much as a hen’s TURD but in pieces I tare it. Ibid. Fie! it stinks: it is a cat’s TURD. Ibid., ii. 2. It is twenty pound to a goose-TURD my gammer will not tarry.
1614. JONSON, Bartholomew Fair, i. 1. A TURD IN YOUR little wife’s TEETH, too … ’twill make her spit.
1653. URQUHART, Rabelais, I., Prologue. A TURD FOR HIM. Ibid., xxi. Then Panurge … said unto her…. A TURD FOR YOU!
1660. A. BROME, Poems, ‘The Clown.’ ’Tis not a TURD to choose.
1678. COTTON, Scarronides, or, Virgil Travestie (1770), 44. The Rogues threw cow-TURDS at us. Ibid. (1675), Burlesque upon Burlesque: or, The Scoffer Scofft, 223. Jup. Basta! no more, you wrangling TURDS.
1694. MOTTEUX, Rabelais, V. vi. They … would make us believe that a TURD is a sugar loaf. Ibid., xxii. Others made chalk of cheese, and honey of a dog’s TURD.
d. 1704. T. BROWN, An Epigram upon Sir R. B., in Works, i. 77. Two thousand flies attack a new fall’n TURD.
1707. WARD, Hudibras Redivivus, II. iv. 19. Like Dung-hill Cocks o’er Stable TURDS. Ibid., II. v. 25. Concluding with, Good Night, you TURD.
1774. BRIDGES, A Burlesque Translation of Homer, 12.
| Nor know, for all your kick and bounce, | |
| How many ——s will make an ounce. | |
| Ibid., 213. | |
| (Which will turn out not worth a T—.) |
1785. GROSE, A Classical Dictionary of the Vulgar Tongue, s.v. Sir Reverence. Human excrement, a T—D.
